Mental Preparation…Divorce Mediation
Mental Preparation…Essential Principles
Essential Principles of Divorce Mediation:
- Divorce mediation isn’t about reconciliation. Both parties should be ready or at least resigned to proceed with divorce. Divorce mediation is a voluntary process that can end at any time at the discretion of either party or the divorce mediator. Divorce mediation is confidential (with some exceptions).
- Divorce mediation depends on both parties’ commitment to disclose fully all necessary information and negotiate in good faith.
- The divorce mediator doesn’t represent either party individually; he is an advocate for the process.
- The divorce mediator doesn’t make decisions for you.
- Divorce mediation achieves an effective resolution because it is based on the principle of fairness.
- Even if the divorce mediator is also a divorce lawyer or therapist, he/she does not behave or perform as one when conducting divorce mediation. Not all divorce mediators are attorneys.
Mental Preparation…Attitudes and Behaviors
Productive Attitudes and Behaviors are Keys to a Successful Divorce Mediation:
- Focus on the future, not the past.
- Put anger and blame aside (at least for the duration of each session) to focus on problem-solving.
- Stay problem-focused and avoid personal attacks.
- Speak and listen to each other carefully and respectfully, without interruption or accusation.
- Have an open mind, thinking about all the possible options in terms of their benefits and drawbacks for all parties. Be gracious when winning and when conceding.
- Take time to think things over when you need to.
- If a session becomes too difficult, consider ending it early.
- Have patience with the divorce mediation process.
Mental Preparation…The Powerful and Clear Benefits of Divorce Mediation:
- Divorce mediation saves you considerable time and money.
- Divorce mediation makes you more committed to the agreement since it is you who works through it instead of your family law attorneys.
- Divorce mediation gives you a sense of control over the process and allows you to maintain your dignity.
- You—not a judge—determine what is fair distribution of assets/liabilities, spousal support, custody, parenting time, and child support.
- Divorce mediation helps you learn to talk to each other, enhancing communication for a more cooperative future relationship.
- By applying the principle of fairness, divorce mediation maximizes the benefits for everyone and proportionally distributes the sacrifices.
Call 201-847-0814 to schedule your divorce mediation FREE introductory consultation in one of my offices in Wyckoff, Totowa, Verona or Hackensack, New Jersey.