Divorce Attorney In Bergen County

Philip C. Puglisi LLC.

Contact us now


Mental Preparation…Divorce Mediation

Mental Preparation…Essential Principles

Essential Principles of Divorce Mediation: 


mental preparation

    • Divorce mediation isn’t about reconciliation. Both parties should be ready or at least resigned to proceed with divorce. Divorce mediation is a voluntary process that can end at any time at the discretion of either party or the divorce mediator. Divorce mediation is confidential (with some exceptions).
    • Divorce mediation depends on both parties’ commitment to disclose fully all necessary information and negotiate in good faith.
    • The divorce mediator doesn’t represent either party individually; he is an advocate for the process.
    • The divorce mediator doesn’t make decisions for you.
    • Divorce mediation achieves an effective resolution because it is based on the principle of fairness.
    • Even if the divorce mediator is also a divorce lawyer or therapist, he/she does not behave or perform as one when conducting divorce mediation. Not all divorce mediators are attorneys.

Mental Preparation…Attitudes and Behaviors

Productive Attitudes and Behaviors are Keys to a Successful Divorce Mediation: 

  • Focus on the future, not the past.
  • Put anger and blame aside (at least for the duration of each session) to focus on problem-solving.
  • Stay problem-focused and avoid personal attacks.
  • Speak and listen to each other carefully and respectfully, without interruption or accusation.
  • Have an open mind, thinking about all the possible options in terms of their benefits and drawbacks for all parties. Be gracious when winning and when conceding.
  • Take time to think things over when you need to.
  • If a session becomes too difficult, consider ending it early.
  • Have patience with the divorce mediation process.

Mental Preparation…The Powerful and Clear Benefits of Divorce Mediation: 

  • Divorce mediation saves you considerable time and money.
  • Divorce mediation makes you more committed to the agreement since it is you who works through it instead of your family law attorneys.
  • Divorce mediation gives you a sense of control over the process and allows you to maintain your dignity.
  • You—not a judge—determine what is fair distribution of assets/liabilities, spousal support, custody, parenting time, and child support.
  • Divorce mediation helps you learn to talk to each other, enhancing communication for a more cooperative future relationship.
  • By applying the principle of fairness, divorce mediation maximizes the benefits for everyone and proportionally distributes the sacrifices.

Call 201-847-0814 to schedule your divorce mediation FREE introductory consultation in one of my offices in Wyckoff, Totowa, Verona or Hackensack, New Jersey.